“The only thing worse than starting something and failing… is not starting something.” – Seth Godin.
I became a mom in August 2014. What I didn’t know until then is that giving birth changes you in ways you never knew was possible and turns you into a person you never imagined you were or would become. I was never really a writer, never even kept a journal in my life. I was rather a very down to earth and private person in general but since my daughter was born, I became this proud-oversharing person that I couldn’t recognized myself. I was filled with so much pride for creating a living, breathing human being that I constantly felt a yearning to share everything with everyone about this fascinating journey called motherhood. So within a couple of months into this new chapter of my life, all I wanted to do is share my experience, thoughts and ideas but was struggling at deciding on the right platform to use.
Now if you read my bio then you probably know that it took me well over three years to finally write these words. Sorry if I have already made you confused because first I said, I was this super confident, know it all mom who was ready to take on the world but then it took me 4 years to start this blog? What the hell happened? Well that is the main purpose of this post- to give you an insight on the events that caused the delay until I finally published this site. I apologize in advance for the lengthy post but since this is my first post I feel it’s crucial that I provide you with the particulars so you understand my journey towards the final outcome.
I remember those days very vividly, it was the summer of 2015 and it was towards the end of my maternity leave when I first came across a very funny video of a mom who showed how she couldn’t get any work done because of her toddler. Her video was unbelievably realistic and funny. In fact, I think that was the tagline on her website too “Real Funny, Real Life!” I immediately fell in love with her contents and knew that this was my true calling- to become a Youtuber, who makes funny videos of herself and her child, please don’t laugh. I was a new mom; a little sleep deprived, a little delusional and a little too excited. The whole Youtubing thing seemed quite simple. I thought to myself, I have all the right ingredients: a real life mom and a mischievous toddler; what can go wrong? So I started making short videos of our everyday lives and started sharing on YouTube.
But after a year, specifically in the fall of 2016 I stopped making those videos and lost interest in the whole youtubing thing;
- mainly because I have an accent which makes me uncomfortable speaking in front of a camera;
- secondly, I just didn’t have the time to make regular videos after going back to work also because we bought our current house around that time as well and my hands were pretty full to focus on anything else; and
- lastly, I didn’t think I was creating anything valuable that others could benefit from or enjoy.
But don’t get me wrong, I am so glad that I made those videos because those are the memories I will cherish forever. I somewhat feel sad that I stopped. I recorded something almost every day and was able to capture many precious moments of my daughter’s life until she turned 2. Videos tell you so much more that a picture cannot. I still plan to make more while she is still little; just not for any channel but for myself and my husband to look back when we are old and rusty and our daughter is in college, picturing this I already have tears in my eyes. Please excuse this emotional momma!
By the end of 2016, I was settling in and getting comfortable at juggling work, home and a toddler. Then I started my pursuit of finding an alternate outlet other than Youtube. Back in my mind, I always had the idea of blogging but was just too scared to even initiate it and to be honest, for that reason never really took the time to read other mom blogs either. Then one day I came across this incredible community of moms on Instagram where they shared pieces of their life as an extension of their blog. Once I started reading about their journeys, I finally found the platform I was looking for all this while. And being part of this community helped me learn so much which a dozens of parenting books couldn’t do. This was the end of 2016, my daughter was 2.5 years old by then when I created an Instagram “mommy account” as an initial attempt to start my blog.
Then came the fun part, how can I start a blog? Starting a blog sounded simple enough from the articles I read on google. Everybody has a blog these days; how hard can it be? I thought to myself. So according to the instructions, I purchased a domain name and web hosting plan. Started to work on my site and then one night after writing the “about me” section, I decided to go through some of the mom blogs that was trending that year just for a quick reference before I went live. And the more and more I read, I slowly started to realize how brilliant and high quality some blogs and their contents were and as a beginner I pretty much had no idea what I was getting into. I knew what I wanted to write about; was also passionate about it but I knew I am not a writer; not even good at it and really started to question my abilities. And after contemplating for over a week, I decided not to go ahead with it, closed my laptop and forgot all about it.
Another year went by and I had completely forgotten about my subscription until I get an email from the web hosting company about the renewal in November 2017. I was so upset at myself for not cancelling the service earlier, I called and cancelled it immediately as I knew by then I didn’t want anything to do with blogging.
Now fast forward to beginning of July 2018 which is about a month ago from today, I started to get that same itch that I felt 3 some years ago. By now, I have been regularly sharing photos on the Instagram account that I created back in 2016. But lately started to feel that the platform was rather inadequate for what I actually wanted to achieve which was another factor that triggered me to re-start my blogging expedition. I couldn’t always concisely compose my thoughts in the caption of a single picture which felt very limiting. So finally I realized if this is something I don’t pursue now, it will keep coming back and haunt me forever. So here I am finally pouring my heart out and just writing. My husband said, “What if no one reads your blog; after all the work you have put into it, wouldn’t that upset you?” I said to him, “It would be amazing if people actually appreciate my blog but if they don’t, I would still have it as a souvenir from a very special quest in my life that I will treasure forever.”
So if any of you could relate to that story and are still confused or afraid; I only have one advise for you and that is to believe in yourself. There will always be another blogger who is better than you but there will only be one unique you sharing your own unique story. If you are too scared to start today, try again tomorrow and then try again until you finally fulfill whatever it is that caused you to think about starting a blog at the first place; whether it’s just curiosity, passion or the desire to contribute in some way to the community. Whatever your reason is, don’t hold back and start writing because until you pursue it, you will not feel at peace with yourself. And yes, I am speaking from experience.
I would like to end with a quote that is very dear to my heart,
“Love what you do and do what you love. Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. You do what you want, what you love. Imagination should be the center of your life.” — Ray Bradbury.
I hope to see you again 🙂